yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
