That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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