Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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