There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
