I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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