If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize