We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize