I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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