TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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