fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Someone shit on the floor
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
