I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
