Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
