your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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