Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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