Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
