i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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