You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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