Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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