That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
