You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
