no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
