Christians are straight up FREAKS
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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