Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
