Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
