I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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