nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
