I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
