I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
