he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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