Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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