I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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