After last night, I could never be a politician.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
