What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
