so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
