If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh god it's open bar.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
