problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
