is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
