I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
