im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
