This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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