OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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