Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
