i permit you to call me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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