Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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