I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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