Pants 0. Shit 1.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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