I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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