So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
