It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
