508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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