haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
