i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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