Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
no, he came in my armpit
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
