planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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