I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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