haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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