i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize