So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
