Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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