is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize