i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
