I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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