Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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