my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
