I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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