She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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