whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he shaved USA in his pubs
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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