remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
