i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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