you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
